You Can't Lie to Me
by Holz9364
Summary: Cal Lightman comes to California to give the CBI a speech and crosses paths with a certain Mentalist. Cal/Gillian Jane/Lisbon.


**You Can't Lie to Me**

'But, Lisboooon,' Jane whined from his couch, 'I don't want to go to the workshop.'

Lisbon glared at the consultant, 'I don't care, you have too. We all have too, its mandatory for all employees,' Jane opened his mouth to protest when Lisbon continued, 'and it doesn't matter if you're an Agent or a consultant, you are still an employee of the CBI. They pay you, they may not give you dental but they are your employers.'

Jane smiled a little to himself at how well she knew him and he jumped up from the sofa to walk her to the workshop.

'I thought you'd be excited about this one anyway,' Lisbon said with a smirk, 'it's about learning how to study facial expressions, apparently it's the way forward.'

Jane gaped, 'this guy is a mentalist?' he asked, grinning at the thought.

'He prefers to go by deception expert,' Lisbon said, chuckling at the childish excitement on Janes face.

'Come on Lisbon, what are you waiting for?' He said as he grabbed her hand and hurried towards the large lecture theatre on the 1st floor. Lisbon rolled her eyes and let herself be dragged along by the man.

* * *

Jane had to admit as he sat next to Lisbon in the lecture theatre, he was a little bit excited about this. He knew Lisbon could tell from the amused looks she kept shooting his way, but he pretended not to notice them.

The door opened and the guy walked out onto the stage, he smiled at them and said, 'Hello, I'm Cal Lightman, the world's leading deception expert.'

Jane sniggered and muttered in Lisbon's ear, 'he's British.'

'So?' Lisbon asked, raising an eyebrow at the consultant.

'Brits have funny accents,' Jane whispered back causing Lisbon to smirk and say, 'I think it's kinda cute, actually.'

Jane's eyes widened and Lisbon hid a satisfied smile as she looked back to the man on the stage.

'I'm here to teach you how to understand micro expressions,' Cal said to the group, making Jane snort loudly.

'Do you have a problem with that?' Cal asked Jane with a raised eyebrow.

'Uh, yes, I do actually,' Jane said, standing up and getting glares from the group, a few people groaned as they sensed a Jane-ism coming on.

'And what exactly is your problem?' Cal asked, seemingly amused by the interruption.

'Micro expressions are easy to read, I don't need to be here, can I go now Lisbon?' Jane said, to Cal, then turning to Lisbon who was looking at him dirtily.

'Sit down Jane,' she hissed, but Jane just grinned and looked back to Cal.

'If you think you know them so well why don't you come up here and identify them for me,' Cal suggested and Jane, grinning, bounded up onto the stage.

'Who are you?' Cal asked when Jane reached him.

Jane reached out his hand and Cal shook it, 'Patrick Jane, consultant.'

Cal nodded, pressing a button on the remote in his hand and bringing up a face on the screen, 'Alright Patrick, what micro expression is this man showing?'

'He's biting his lip, he's nervous about something that he's hiding.'

'Very good,' Cal said, skipping to the next clip.

'Lips narrowed and eyebrows down, he's definitely angry about something.'

Cal looked increasingly impressed as he moved onto the next clip.

'The corner of his lip is raised. It could be contempt or he could be telling a lie that people believe and he's happy about it.'

Jane was getting smugger by each expression he got right.

'Raised upper eyelids and eyebrows slightly raised, it could be fear, or it could be shock.'

Cal was now looking slightly miffed as he went to the next clip which Jane read just as easily as the others, 'her nose is wrinkled and her upper lip is slightly raised. She could be showing disgust, in fact. I know that look well; my colleague Agent Lisbon gives me it at least once a day.'

There was a lot of laughter from several of the Agents around the room and Lisbon face palmed. Even Cal chuckled as he put another clip on the screen.

'That is fake happiness,' Jane said, 'there are no wrinkles around the eyes, if that was real happiness there would be, either that or she _is _happy but she's had a lot of plastic surgery.' Again there was more laughter as Cal brought up the last micro expression.

'Sadness,' Jane said instantly, 'the eyes aren't completely focused and the eyelids are drooping. On the other hand drugs could do that to a person too.'

'Very good Patrick, what are you?'

'I'm a Mentalist,' Jane explained, smugly and Cal nodded, as if this made sense, 'a very good one, I can see why the cops use you.'

He thanked Jane for his help and Jane jumped off the stage and took his seat once more next to Lisbon who hissed, 'I told you not to mess around.'

'Couldn't resist,' Jane whispered, looking rather pleased with himself as he looked back to the stage.

* * *

Once the talk was over Jane grabbed Lisbon by the arm and pulled her towards Cal Lightman, Lisbon glared at him, 'Jane! Let me go! What are you doing?' she followed his line of sight and whined, 'Jaaane.'

'Mr Brightman,' Jane said happily when he reached the man.

Cal spun around, 'Ah, the talented Patrick Jane. You're a natural.'

'He's an idiot,' Lisbon corrected, 'I'm very sorry he disrupted your talk Mr. Lightman.'

Cal was watching them with interest and vague amusement when a woman walked up behind him, he acknowledged her with a smile, 'This is my colleague, Gillian Foster. Gill, this is Patrick Jane the Mentalist and Agent Lisbon.'

Gillian smiled, 'Nice to meet you both.'

Cal was still watching Jane and Lisbon and out of the blue asked, 'Are you two sleeping together?'

'No,' Lisbon replied quickly, trying her best to look disgusted at this accusation, Jane just chuckled.

'You're lying,' Gillian said, but Cal shook his head, 'She's telling the truth, she's just trying to make it look like the thought disgusts her, but it doesn't, does it? You want to sleep with him?'

'I do not want to sleep with Jane!' Lisbon said angrily, glaring at them, Jane seemed to be enjoying this immensely.

'Repetition, she's lying,' Cal said, turning to Jane, 'she wants to sleep with you.'

Jane shrugged, 'I've known for a while,' he said simply, leaving Lisbon to gape at him as he got a read on the two newbie's.

'What about you two? Are you sleeping together?' Jane asked, watching them closely for their reactions.

'No,' Cal replied simply and Gillian added, 'I'm married.'

Jane nodded, still watching them closely, 'So not sleeping together, but you have feelings for her, right?' Jane asked Cal who only narrowed his eyes at the Mentalist, 'that looks tells me yes, you like her, a lot.' He turned his attention to Gillian who seemed surprised by this, 'and you're surprised by the fact he might have feelings for you,' he contemplated this, 'you're married, but not happily, your husband is dealing with a lot, and you turn to him, for advice,' Jane said, pointing to Cal, 'but really you're confused because you've developed feelings for him.'

Jane took a step back, 'That's interesting, very interesting,' he commented, 'I've not had a read that interesting in years, thanks for that.' He grabbed Lisbon by the arm and pulled the confused woman away from Cal and Gillian.

Gillian swallowed, and Cal's eyes widened slightly, 'You swallowed, you're nervous.'

'I am not,' Gillian said, trying not to bite her lip.

'Yes, you are,' Cal said, 'you do have feelings for me.'

'Platonic feelings,' Gillian said.

'Liar,'

'Cal, I-'

Gillian didn't get to finish her sentence because Cal kissed her and she gasped in surprise. She knew it was wrong, but she'd wanted it for so long that she let him.

When they broke apart Gillian gasped, 'Who was that guy?'

'I don't know,' Cal replied, 'but I want to recruit him.'

* * *

'Jane, why did you do that?' Lisbon asked in annoyance as she and the irritating consultant made their way back to her office.

'Because they were very interesting to read,' Jane replied simply, 'for deception experts they aren't great liars.'

'Unlike you, you mean,' Lisbon said, shutting the door to her office a little too hard, 'you're a pathological liar.'

'Yes,' Jane agreed, as he sat down on the sofa he'd bought her, 'I am.'

'And you have no shame in that,' Lisbon said, annoyed and disgusted at him.

Jane shrugged, 'Only a little. Anyway Lisbon, stop looking so disgusted, we all know you just want to sleep with me.' He smirked at the Agent who blushed deeply.

'Aw Lisbon, you're so cute when you blush.'

'Jane...' Lisbon said warningly.

'Get out your office unless I want a bullet in my head?' Jane guessed and at Lisbon's nod and death glare he jumped off the sofa and made his way out of the office, 'have a good day Lisbon!' he called cheerily as he made his way into the bullpen with a large smile on his face.

Lisbon was right, that _had _been interesting.

**_The End_**


End file.
